On Reagency – A Review

I once remarked on this blog that life seemed to be happening to me a great deal, and that I personally wanted to change that, and to be the thing happening to life.

I haven’t held up to that promise very well.

But I have realized, now, in the middle of exercise, that that’s probably been my problem.

I feel full of energy right now and I worry that its manic. But while the iron is hot, I’ll strike.

See, I crave agency. I fight for it. I get upset when its stolen from me. I desire freedom to act in all circumstances. But, what do I do with it once I have it?

Well. That’s the thing, I’m normally pretty passive. Sure, I’ll speak up often, but for the most part I prefer to sit quiet when I can. I also like giving people what they want, and since I desire agency, sometimes I’ll lend others mine.

But that’s kind of a bum deal from the outset. Since, they probably don’t realize that what I’m giving them is on loan and since situations aren’t checkbooks and can’t really be balanced accordingly.

Misunderstood altruism aside, I’m coming to the realization that the fire I’ve lit under myself starts with either moving out of the passive or finding comfort within it.

A wise man told me the smartest people just listen. But a less wise man told me that when it comes to choosing between kindness and intelligence, one is a lot more fulfilling.

And there’s a certain kindness to giving into action. A kindness to the self.

But maybe there’s a better way. A way to do both. To become a reliable catalyst who moves quietly but still expands endothermically.

If it doesn’t work out, well, it’s always good to have goals.

Thanks for reading, and have a great week.