SDPEBA loves themed weeks and months. Well. We more so kind of just like how silly they are. Like, did you know that December is also Procrastination Awareness month? Fitting they make it the last month of the year. I was going to write an article about that, but I’m not feeling it. Maybe I’ll get around to it later. 

On top of being procrastination awareness month, December is also identity theft awareness month (check out an article on that here) and the first week of December is Handwashing Awareness week.  

Granted, as a germophobe, I’m always living in handwashing awareness, but now’s a good as time as any to remind you how important it is to wash your hands.  

I feel like during March and April, all we talked about was washing your hands for at least twenty seconds (or the length of two happy birthdays).  

So, I suppose the question is, are you still doing it? Because, I’m not sure if you’ve been watching the news or anything… but it seems like we still need to be washing our hands more than usual. 

Why? Well. I’m glad you asked. 

 The Physical Dynamics of Soap, Oil, Fat and how it all Relates to Germ Theory 

Oh yeah, we’re going to get down and dirty on the mechanics of being up on your cleanliness.

The reason we wash our hands to prevent illness, is because microbes, like viruses and bacteria (both the good and bad kind), exist on just about everything we touch and those microbes love liquid. Which normally doesn’t seem like a big deal, until you remember that our skin is covered in a thin layer of oil. This oil is great when it acts as a barrier to dirt and keeps our skin from drying out, but not as great when it acts like a magnet for microbes. Microbes get caught up in the surface tension of your skin’s oil and basically hitch a ride until they get wiped onto something else, e.g. your face, your food, or a towel. 

In order to understand how soap is involved, we need to understand what an “oil” is. Oils, such as olive oil and skin oils, are fatty molecules, usually triglycerides, that remain liquid at room temperature and do not mix well with water. Fatty molecules like triglyceride are great for storing energy, but are not so great for looking good while you’re at the beach or when you need to clean your hands. In order to break down triglycerides you need oxidization, heat, and an alkali (Which is why aerobic exercises are good fat busters).  

That’s where soap comes in. Soap takes a two-part approach to keep you safe from would-be microbial attackers who are looking to get all up in your immune system. Soap’s first job is to break down the oils on your skin. Its able to do this because it is an alkali compound, meaning it is basic rather than acidic.  

This is where the genius of soap comes into play, see. Just breaking down the skin oils would do very little to clean your hands, but since soap is mechanical (meaning it requires outside movement to do its job) you have to rub your hands together, which creates friction. This friction causes two things to happen: one is that it warms up the oils on your hands, helping break down triglycerides; and two it causes the soap bubbles split and produce more bubbles, lifting triglycerides and microbes off your skin and into the soap’s complex network of air pockets. This is essentially aerosolizing your skin oil and any would-be bacterial hitch hikers who are trying to get inside your bodily systems.  

By doing all of this, soap is essentially setting you up for the ultimate alley-oop, but instead of dunking a basketball, you’ll be dunking your hands under water and rinsing all those aerosolized microbes and triglycerides off your hands and into your sink (check back later when we go in depth about the history of the sewer in order to promote national fiber awareness month). 

This is also why soap is so good at removing food from plates and stains from clothes. All that motion causes the soap to essentially give the grime somewhere else to go.   

Best Practices for Cleanliness 

Now, I’m not a health official, just someone who knows a lot about soap, so take these tips with a grain of salt: 

-Avoid touching your face in general, but especially without washing your hands first.  

-Don’t lick your fingers, even KFC asked you to stop.

-Wash your hands before and after eating, cleaning, or preparing food.  

-Keep areas that you commonly touch clean: 

-Keyboards/Mice, door knobs, coffee pots, your sink, your fridge, the remote for your TV, your dog, your bed, and everything. Just. Clean everything.  

-Wash your hands for thirty seconds (I know, that’s ten seconds more than the CDC says, but it is the length experts recommend). 

-Remember that soap is mechanical, so get it moving! And make sure you’re getting between your fingers and under your fingernails too. 

-Teach your family and friends about the magic of soap! 

-Be mindful of what you touch, but also who touches what you touch.  

-I mean, just be smart and don’t sneeze into your hand and then open a door. 

-Dry your hands completely after washing, wetness attracts microbes!!! 

Here’s some other quick facts, but these are meant to terrify you: 

-Pneumonia, the cold, and the flu, are primarily spread from person-to-item item-to-person contact. 

-All three of the previous illnesses are preventable by handwashing. 

-There are microbes literally everywhere and there is no way to know which are good or bad without expensive lab equipment. 

-Food poisoning comes just as often from your own improper hygiene as it does from unsafe food practices. 

Alright. Even though I could go on. I’m done with the scare tactics. Just, please wash your hands. It is probably less than 5 minutes out of your day and could keep you safe from countless illnesses (including the big one going around right now). Not to mention it also keeps other people safe who might not have as strong of an immune system as you. 

If a soap nerd like me is capable of it, then you certainly are too. As we head deeper into flu season be smart, be safe, and wash your hands.