On Effort – A Review

How’s the saying go? An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure?

As a general rule of thumb, I’m a fan of both the prevention and the cure. I’m not referring to the band either, although I do like them too. I’m just trying to say I’m sort of a confrontational person.

I don’t mean for that to come off as bragging or anything. I just tend to stamp out problems as soon as I see them. It feels healthier, but not a lot of people agree with me.

The thing is, I’ve been miserable, and I will be miserable again, no doubt about it. I can’t stop every problem, I know that, but I’d rather try than ever be miserable.

With all that out of the way, I think effort is an underrated concept in modern society. In some circles, “effort” can actually be seen as a negative thing. “Oh, Connor? He tries too hard.” Am I the only one who thinks this is the strangest insult?

I can see where the phrase gets it’s merit. When someone tries to force everything they do or when they try to put their own actions above those of others. That’s annoying, but it’s not trying too hard. It’s trying in the wrong way. It’s trying to please someone else rather than please yourself or meet your own needs/wants.

I’ve always considered myself an altruist, but I’ve never been one to shy away from meeting my own wants. So, I suppose, I’m advocating a sort of altruistic hedonism. Help the world by helping yourself, and help yourself by helping the world. It might sound like a push-me pull-you situation, but it’s actually a lot simpler than that.

The formula that defines my life looks like this: if <positive> [effort] is applied to [my life,] apply (equal or greater) [effort] back. If [effort] is in excess (share) [effort] with [whomsoever I choose].

Notice, there is only one qualifier here, and it’s just making sure I pay attention to the positive effort in my life, not the negative kind. There’s no need to waste energy or time on that. They’re both precious resources.

Of course, just because this life formula works for me doesn’t mean it will work for others. I’ve been quite lucky to have a lot of opportunities given to me, and also to give out a lot of opportunities. There’s nothing to stop me from acknowledging how grateful I am to have been in that position.

Furthering my defense of effort is a life lesson my dad practically distilled in me. I know what I said. I think I was in third grade, I might have been a bit younger. He was driving me back from basketball practice. For whatever reason, our coach had practice pretty far away, I remember the drive being quite long. So, my dad and I had really long talks and we listened to Mark and Brian on the radio.

My dad talked a lot about his philosophy on life, not in a “this is how you ought to live” sort of way, but in a general “this is what I believe, you can if you want, or not,” sort of way. Two of the conversations stand out the most as what ended up shaping me into who I am today. The first was to never assume. The way his lesson went was based on the adage, “never assume you’re the smartest person in the room.” But he took it a step farther and talked about how a human’s principals are more important than appearances. And while today, you might go, of course that’s true. Learning that lesson at a young age was really important to my development.

The second conversation that stands out also stems from a popular saying “anything worth doing, is worth doing right.” And man, if those words haven’t echoed in my head every day since.

In some cases, I heard those words in desperation. I was a lousy high-school student, for the most part. In a lot of classes I phoned it in. The same went for cross country and track too. I was there for friends more than the hard work. I’m proud that I turned that around before college.

In other cases, those words were my mantra. I like to make things. Little pieces of art on 3x5 notecards, recycled cardboard constructs, and of course, stories. There are always shortcuts. And even though some of my work is intentionally sloppy, it always got my 100% attention, even if all it ever did was go straight to the garbage can.

Eventually though, I started applying those words to friendships. To workouts. To doing the damn dishes. Everything I did had to be at maximum effort, because why on earth would I waste my time otherwise.

This has been a blessing and a curse. Sometimes you try really hard at something, but need someone to meet you halfway and they don’t. And that hurts. Because you’re the one working really hard, and you’re the one who ends up getting burned. But in other cases, when you meet someone truly special, or just have a lot of dirty dishes, that effort pays off in ways I can’t put into words.

It turns out, sometimes, it’s worth the chance of getting burned if you can really get that close to something that amazing.

At this point, I’m just waxing poetic.

Thank you, dad, for all you taught me and all that you continue to teach me. I’ve always been hungry to learn, and I think that’s your fault. But it’s a fault I wear with pride.

Thanks for reading everyone, and you made it! It’s the weekend! Have a great one.