More Hang Ups than a Coat Check – Unwarranted Advice

I’m young. I get talked down to a lot, people seem to think I’m either stupid or just not worldly enough to understand some of the more complicated parts of the world. For the most part, I let them do it. Even if they later tell me I’m one of the smartest people they know, it doesn’t bother me. When I was in High School, however, I hated it. If anyone tried to explain something to me that I understood, I’d take it as a great offense, and was libel to interrupt them and tell them off for it.

I’ve grown a lot since then, and I’m able to admit that, for the most part, it doesn’t really matter. If I’m in a time crunch or just not in the mood, I’m able to say, “hey I’m good,” but general, I really just don’t care. I’m not saying this is the right way to be, it’s just how I am.

But as I mentioned, that has not always been the case. In fact, I would say it used to be my biggest pet peeve, and I know for a fact I’d do it to other people. I considered myself an intellectual, and I took anyone who over explained something I understood as an insult to my intelligence. This was my biggest hang up.

Everyone has hang ups. They always tend to be derived from something in your past, and generally are the fastest ways to make you act foolish. Sometimes that means you’re acting defensive when you really shouldn’t, other times you might be more prone to lash out. It’s different for everyone, and probably different depending on the hang up.

I’m not going to sit here and analyze all of my issues. But I’m going to be extremely forthright and say I know I have them and that, when looking back, I can see how a lot of them came to change how I acted in the past. In fact, I’ll even be fair and say I bet there’s a million hang ups I don’t realize I even have.

For the sake of transparency, one of my biggest hang ups is leaving things in a bad place. I had a friend who I can’t talk to anymore, and I’m not sure how he felt about me after we last talked. I can never know that anymore. He can’t ever know how much he meant to me, and how much he affects me as a person to this day. That breaks me up inside.

So, you might catch me being prone to tell people I love them. I also make it abundantly clear when I’m genuinely proud of someone, or when I think they’re doing something special. And if someone gets distant, I might get frustrated or I might get clingy. Which ends up making them get more distant. You see the cycle?

Additionally, this hang up makes me quick to confront someone. That might seem strange, but I don’t want the air to be muddied for longer than it needs to be. If there’s an issue, let’s solve it before it gets to be out of control. I have to admit, I think this is a good way to live your life. Don’t let small stuff eat at you, deal with it. But not everyone feels this way. They need time to process what’s bothering them, and me standing there lacing up my gloves isn’t going to help.

I didn’t realize how bad I was about either of these things until it was like the twentieth time it was affecting how I was acting. Sorry to the people who experienced my irrational fear, it’s not your fault I put it on you.

Now that I’m aware of it, however, I can do my best to adjust in the future. To understand and approach things from the positive angle of my hang up, rather than the negative. Stuff like that isn’t easy, but it’s necessary if you want to be happy with yourself.

So, yeah, I’m young. And there’s a lot I don’t know. But there’s some things that I’m proud to say I think I’ve got a handle on. I don’t think I’m an expert in any field, but I know I’m a capable thinker, even my mom says so.

Next time you’re aggravated about something mundane, or something no one else seems to be bothered by, check your closet for a hang up. Go ahead and pull that thread and see where it leads you and when you’re ready, take a step back and think about the bigger picture and do your best to keep that image in mind as you live the best life you can.