A guide to Having an Opinion in 2018 - Unwarranted Advice
Let me be the first to welcome you, dear reader, to the age of the internet. Where information is boundless, and you too can find yourself reading about the process of fermenting cabbage on Wikipedia at 3am. Yes, the internet, a place where your address doesn't limit who you can interact with. A place where ads can be targeted beyond general demographic information. A place where everything is free, even this blog! You're welcome.
But with simultaneous access to millions upon millions of users, and direct lines to just about anyone you've never met, there are opportunities where things can get a little dicey.
Whether it's your taste in music, political views, religious beliefs, or just the shape of your face, someone has something to say about it. Comment threads (like the one below this blog. Why not try it out?) are simple enough to use, and often anonymous enough to let anyone say just about anything. Obviously, this anonymity can be dangerous beyond belief. Death threats and harsh words can be found daily on innocuous YouTube comment threads. But, believe it or not! Being anonymous can lead to positive comments as well. Not only is giving constructive criticism easier, being anonymous has given me more confidence to go ahead and say something nice to a writer, YouTuber, or some random forum user! In fact, I would say who I am today, stems a lot from the power anonymity gave me online while growing up. I was able to present myself however I wanted without fear of retribution, and from there, had no issues becoming who I am today. I love your shirt, by the way. It looks great on you!
The hostility of opinion, however, does not start and die online. Due to the rise of social media accounts that use real names instead of screen names, I've seen many relationships strained by matters of opinion. It's not even rare to see families and friendships stressed to their end because of a difference in ideology, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't think of someone differently because of what they have said in passing.
Today, however, I believe I have found peace amidst the chaos of "fake news" and foreign propaganda. And it is denying the myth of competition.
A long time ago I started writing an essay for myself about "America's War of Ideals." It essentially talked about the gamification of politics and other matters that deal more with taste, how you were raised, or a set of beliefs. This essay was never finished, but it never left my mind.
If I may split into an anecdote, I'm frequently reminded of this when people get angry at me for not liking onions. Eating most members of the onion family makes me want to vomit. It's an uncontrolled response. I dislike the taste and smell, but I believe that came after the need to throw-up whenever one sneaks itself into my mouth. Telling anyone about this issue is frightening for me, because they then become the onion police for me, guarding me from all possible onions that might approach, or they get angry or harsh. I've seen people do this to others as well, they might have an issue with a certain texture or flavor and suddenly it's okay to treat that individual like a child throwing a tantrum, when in reality it just doesn't taste right to them.
Not liking onions is not an opinion. It's a fact. I'm sure anyone who is a picky eater, would happily not be picky if their tongue would let them. I am certainly in this camp. But because identity is tied to what you "like" and "dislike," disliking something someone else likes, becomes personal.
Now, I have no way to know if 20 years ago, people took offense to opinion as much as they do now. But today, there is a whole world online where you can tailor entire websites to specific interests, and that interest then becomes part of your image or identity. Reddit, Facebook, and now Discord all allow you to put yourself into communities that exist based around a common interest. Now, I doubt anyone who gets mad at me for not enjoying onions is a part of the Onion Lover's United Facebook page, but hopefully you see my point. Identity and interest are intertwined, which is fine! So long as someone can identify the difference between an attack on their person and a dislike for what they happen to like.
I suppose this is where the "Unwarranted Advice" part of this all comes in, right? Unfortunately, there isn't much to say except to have an open mind. If someone has an opinion that you disagree with, talk to them. See why they think that way. If they're willing, tell them how you feel about the concept and start a discussion. The worst thing that could happen, is you might change your mind.* What can also happen, is you might meet someone who's fun to disagree with. Or maybe that conversation spurs more intellectual discussion? If that happens, maybe that habit might spread. And more and more people will discuss their ideas and be open to others.
* - Okay there is worse that could happen. But anyone who creates conflict from a difference in opinion shouldn't be in your life to begin with! That's just a favor from me to you. And always be safe before starting a discussion with someone. Do it online or in a public space if they seem hostile. Maybe send them this article if they can't seem to disconnect themselves from their opinions. ;)
Additionally, if you want more advice. Always start a discussion with discussion in mind, not persuasion. You're there to curate your ideas. If what they believe doesn't hurt anybody, then you don't need to change them.
Question - Does anyone give you flak for a harmless opinion? Let me know what opinion in the comments.
(do I hate myself for writing that? a bit. But I'm actually curious!)
